Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Santa Baby

This is me... pretending that it hasn't been fourteen years since my last post.

Last year at about this time, my son introduced me to I love love love it, especially at this time of year. However, being a perfectionist by nature, I have to mention that some songs are sacred. I mean, really, Michael Buble should NEVER sing Santa Baby (or Buddy, or Dude). Everyone knows that that song belongs to Eartha Kitt; back up off Michael!

The problem with Christmas music is that there really isn't that much variety of songs, just artists. But the truth is that no one sings Mary Did You Know like Kathy Mattea, or Baby It's Cold Outside like Barry Manilow and KT Oslin. This year when I was loading my personal collection of Christmas music on to my iphone I resisted the urge to create a Christmas favorite list just so that I would only have one version of I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day (Casting Crowns, of course) and You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (Go Fish). The truth is that sometimes I am not very objective. Otherwise I am pretty sure that Julie Andrews' Favorite Things would trump Tony Bennett, but not so in my mind. After all, Tony kicked off Christmas every year when I was a child... sorry Ms. Andrews, betcha didn't see THAT coming!

All in all, I just love Christmas music so when we got to start our holidays early this year because Brian was here at Thanksgiving, this girl was not complaining.

Not one. little. bit.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Leaving on a jet plane

I have succeeded in purchasing a plane ticket for one husband to travel one way to pack up one son. I did it all for a whopping $70, and I'm feeling a little smug about it. You know on AOL when they offer ridiculous airfare prices just to get you to click... ha! Of course I am going to have to drive to Little Rock, AR to drop him off (one third of the way) and he is going to be arriving at some random little airport somewhere in the vicinity of Dallas. I am not even sure if they are actually landing. Maybe they are just gonna do a fly by and kind of push him out. In any case, it will be the job of the aforementioned son to collect said husband at the other end. Then Daddy is going to "help" pack a trailer and "help" drive him back to TN where he will hang out while he lines up his little duckies for the new semester. In a perfect world, he will have a job waiting for him and a student loan lined up to pay his tuition. I am sorry to say that my perfect little world came crashing in recently. I am not sure where I am going to be six months from now... let alone my adult offspring.

Moving on; and speaking of airplanes... did I mention that the house that we have moved to does not have central heat and air? Okay, now I have lived with window units before, but it's been a while- like a hundred years or so. I have forgotten how loud they are. I am going to have to get a little dry erase board to carry around to write down the things I want to say; partly because I have a soft voice and partly because my husband is DEAF. Every thing I say these days has to be said at least twice... every. single. word. The good news is that I get a chance to change my mind if I say something I regret. The bad news is that the window in my bedroom is right beside my bed. It's like sleeping in the engine of a jet plane (hence the reference to airplanes). The good news is that I can't hear ANYTHING ELSE- like snoring, or midnight trips to the fridge. The bad news is that I can't hear anything else- like my alarm clock, or my kid coming in safe and sound. Just one of the adjustments that this highly flexible woman is making:)

ps... found a t shirt at walmart the other day that said "sarcasm - just one of my many talents"

I believe I pulled it out of the dryer a couple of days later. hmmm.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

and then...

The unpacking is going excruciatingly slow, but I did find my keys so we are all good.

Yesterday my sister walked in and announced that the house was beginning to smell like me. I think that a good thing. Actually I am burning a serious amount of money in my scentsy pots, so I guess she means I smell like cinnamon...

Which reminds me... if ever you know a young bride, be sure to tell her not to put cinnamon sticks in her new husband's underwear drawer. It's a bad idea.

In the meantime, I am trying to get as much unpacked as possible to make room for someone who is dropping by for a little visit before he transfers to somewhere closer to his mommy.


Friday, July 1, 2011


For the record, the registered letter that I received resulting in my homeless situation was apparently not an "eviction"... not in the legal sense. It was simply "a letter requesting a move", although I don't remember it saying please. I did not know this until the second time I was forced to call the police (so that I could leave with some measure of peace) and the kind officer told me.

Unfortunately I'm a bookkeeper.


and when I get a letter that says get out on or before 8/1, I take it to mean get out.

silly me.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Independence Day


The last couple of weeks have been somewhat eventful. I have so many thank yous to send out that I haven't had the time to even begin. I have a three day weekend coming; I'm hoping to get those caught up... and find my shampoo. Just kidding, I know where the shampoo is:) sort of.

I am currently working on a timeline of phone conversations, emails, and confrontations so that I can keep the details straight in my head. yup, I'm a dork. Seriously, I fully expect to be forced into court and it seemed reasonable to at least be able to speak intelligently of the events of the past few weeks, which it turns out are the culmination of years of maternal disappointment. I would share them all publicly, because I have decided that I am done hiding and being afraid but these details really don't serve any purpose except to garner pity, which I don't really need. Suffice it to say that my character is in question here; half truths and lies abound, and things said out of context. The good news is that I don't give an account to my mother or my brother or the neighbors down the street for my actions or motives. That is probably the first thing on the list of things I am thankful for... along with my new dishwasher.

I am reminded of Joseph. His own brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of the love his father showered on him. When famine came to Egypt, God used Joseph to save the an entire civilization and the very family that betrayed him. When his brother asked why he would do such a thing his response was, "You meant it for evil; but God meant it for good". I really pray that I will have the strength of character to follow his example should the opportunity arise.

In the meantime, a wise person that I love with all my heart told me that the best revenge against she who can't be mentioned is to live well.

I think he's pretty smart.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


So I went ahead and opened my blog back up for the masses, as you can see. There really isn't any need to keep it private any longer.

For those who have seen some cryptic remarks on my Facebook account, a little explanation may be in order. For those who don't care... well, you probably still won't care.

A few years ago, my family was one of the early victims of their own choices that led to the loss of their home. A lack of fore site, combined with a dwindling economy, combined with a primary income tied to the luxury car business led to the perfect storm. It was the single most difficult thing I have personally ever had to deal with, outside of losing Daniel. Add to that the guilt that I had no one to blame but myself. I am a bookkeeper, for heaven's sake! How does this happen??

When we left our beautiful home, my heart was broken and I was scared, but we had some sweet friends from church who had a tiny little house that they were renting for frankly not much less that we were paying for our 2000 plus square foot home, but the utilities were less and we weren't starting out 3 months behind so we swallowed our pride and sold as much as we could and "downsized", which kind of goes against the whole heart of America but there it is. After a year of this situation, they were ready to sell their little house and we were looking for somewhere a little more permanent.

A certain family member stepped up and said that they were ready to downsize, because the house and pool were getting to be more upkeep than they were really able to maintain; and because they really loved the house where they had done a number of renovations, they wanted us to consider relocating to Atoka.

I told myself that my history with this difficult relationship would not be an issue. I told the plethora of people who said I was CRAZY, that it would be different this time. I was blinded by my fear of facing the financial world again, by my desire to give everything to my kids, and by the love that I quickly developed for this pile of bricks and the town that it sits in. I envisioned my teens having their friends HERE instead of somewhere else. I envisioned my house being full of the kids I would never have. I envisioned my grandchildren having Thanksgiving at the table in my kitchen and having them stay with me for weeks in the summer when they were old enough to take over that silly pond in the backyard.

I have worked hard here. I have painted and upgraded; put in a new privacy fence, and landscaped. This year in particular, I was dedicated to making that yard a garden of Eden for my "kids"... I am working these days and not really in a position to enjoy it myself; but I would someday.

Then I woke up.

A disagreement. An opinion I dared to have. A few heated emails later, and then a registered letter - addressed and written as if I was a complete stranger - and it is over. I have been evicted from my dream, and there really is no turning back. I have lost another house that I poured my future into. How does that happen? I have no idea. Frankly, I am still in shock and denial, although the boxes in the kitchen that is no longer mine are kinda pointing out the obvious. We have somewhere to go - thank goodness. It seems that God knows what is down the path, even as we are blessedly unaware. I am humbly reminded of that yet again.

I feel like I have been sold for the price of a registered letter.
That is all that I was really worth to this person, who is now a stranger to me.

PS... does anyone have a truck I can borrow?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Update for the chosen few - or couple.

Now that I have taken the time and considerable effort to change my setting so that not just everyone can "follow" me, I guess I should say something.

insert cricket chirping...

A.hem. Oh yeah,

Brian is home for a quick summer visit:) Seems that I only blog when he is home, which isn't much. hmmm. I'll have to consider that. Anyhoo, he has a friend from high school who was graduating college and getting married this past weekend. Talk about a life changing weekend!

Brian has passed the age when all his friends are having serious girlfriends. while he didn't. Now we are at the age where Brian's friends are getting married. while he isn't. Of course, he is just approaching 22 and he still has 3 years before his bachelor's degree because he decided to take his time there, too. So we are not complaining. At least he hasn't made a BAD choice; at least not a PERMANENT one. He will be thrilled that we are discussing this... no wait; he hasn't been "invited" to read! HA!

Bethany, on the other hand has a sweetheart:) awww. I told my niece about him the other day and she looked at me with the biggest blue eyes and said, "reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy????" Mostly because Bethany has been particular. very particular. Just like her momma taught her. I will try to respect her privacy on the subject, but since she hasn't been "invited" either, I can tell you that this momma is very happy with her decision making skills. This newest member of our family has brought a couple of brothers that we have come to love, as well. I always wanted more kids so this has worked out well for me.

We are looking forward to a fun filled, swimmy summer, assuming that I can get that silly pool up and running. This year we are already up to about $1000 and we aren't wet yet. I am pretty sure that we have already had this conversation before.

Same stuff. Different year.

New settings in life

I am changing the settings of this blog to "invitation only".

Some people who shall remain nameless have discovered google.

just saying.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Spring Break 2011

I have come to the conclusion that a person can have money or they can have time, but they cannot have both... at least not those of us firmly planted in middle class America. And sometimes, they can have neither. just saying.

Brian is home:) for spring break, Bethany is off school for the week, Daddy is taking some of the plethera of vacation days he has available to him. I am at work; and I am cranky. I have arranged to take off Thursday and Friday (no pay, of course) so that I can get in on some of this spring break stuff and (yay!) the weather is supposed to be glorious.

Unfortunately, I am the bad parent; the one that sees dirt everywhere. There has been video gaming and movie watching and unlimited snacking the first couple of days this week. I have a list of spring cleaning to do. I will be looking for "volunteers". I am very popular. not.

Even the dogs dread my spring break because there will be bathing and shaving and clipping and various and sundry other dog related nastiness that only moms seem to care gets done. I'm thinking about starting a new TLC reality show and calling it "dirty jobs".

No wait... I don't think that will work.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Can open... worms EVERYWHERE!!!

I know, I know... you don't call, you don't write. whatever. At least when I actually have something to say, I think of you. right after Facebook.

moving on...

So today I was reminded of a school project from my younger years- like a hundred years ago, in fact. I have no idea what the project was about. That is, the purpose of it because I am sure it had one. I just remember that there was a card board box decorated like a tv. And someone was in it, talking to me. A real face to face conversation... sort of. We must have been very forward thinking as children because somehow we imagined a day when we would converse with someone over video in place of that silly outdated telephone. Fast forward like a hundred years... last night my daughter was chatting with a friend on (you guessed it:) skype.

Skype - the answer to my lonely days needing a glimpse of my firstborn and my secret terror.

There are the parents who, in an effort to protect their offspring from jumping in a lake because everyone else is doing it, refuse to allow the wheels of progress anywhere near their zip code. No facebook, no texting, etc. And then there are the parents who have no idea what their kids have buried under the clothes in the floor of their rooms. These are the parents who have bought every techno gadget their child has asked for but have no real understanding of the capabilities of these items, or how they could be leaving their children open to real dangers.

As one who has tried the former and found it not at all practical, I am attempting to embrace the newest of cool hipness... with caution. I am trying to consider all of the advantages of technology, like getting to see that Brian has decided to grow a beard... Okay, I can't really type that with a straight face - a.hem... I am also trying to consider all of the potential for danger from those without and the potential for poor decision making by those within.

I mean really.... do I want her skyping with a friend while I have bras hanging up to dry in the kitchen? I think not.