Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The corners of my mind

I have always had a fascination with memories and how they are triggered. The other day my husband snuggled up behind me after his shower and I was instantly transported to Cancun where we spent our honeymoon. He has a particular cologne that he took with him on that trip that for some reason stands out in my mind. I am not even sure of the name of it, but he has hoarded it over the years and every once in a while he surprises me with a little mini vacation. The smell of Royal Copenhagen and leather also reminds me of our dating years; of who and what we were to each other back then... This morning I heard a snippet of the song, "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croche and for a second I could see myself sitting in Swenson's ice cream parlor having an after dinner sundae with him. I have probably heard that song thousands of times... and eaten sundaes at that restaurant dozens of times. Why that particular memory??? I have no idea, except that I distinctly remember hearing it playing over the sound system while we were there at some point.

The sharp, almost bitter smell of a new born baby's head before its first bath will always remind me of Daniel. The sweetness of baby lotion and powder makes me think of Brian and Bethany and Madison as I bathed their sweet babyness.

My dad's mother lived in a very old wood framed farm house in Iowa when I was a child. She has been gone for the better part of twenty years now, but the smell of an old wood house or the raspberries that she grew in her garden and I am a puddle of tears. Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and she has been close in my thoughts. When I close my eyes and drift into sleep, right before it overtakes me... I can almost remember the sound of her voice. The ticking sound of an old wind up mantle clock reminds me of the nights that I spent buried in her feather mattress listening to her reading to me. I remember that she had a book about birds and the sounds that they make and I was so fascinated that the chickadee made the sound of its own name. I remember the sounds of dad and mom and grandma talking in the next room while that very same clock chimed out the hours. I remember how when I was fifteen and was so hurt by something that Dad had said to me that I was crying like a baby... how she held me and told me the truth. How she had seen his love for me and his hurt at the separation that divorce had brought. I remember her quirkiness at hoarding foil tv trays for some unknown reason and her love for gardening and how she could talk your head slap off!! I remember walking with her into town because she didn't drive and going to bingo with her and her senior citizen group while she proudly showed me off. It pains me that my kids can never really share in these memories.

Happy birthday, Grandma. I love you & I miss you so much...
God grant that I become half the woman that you were.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Change Shmange

To say that working full time again has changed my life would be the understatement of the century. The last time I worked these hours we hand wrote our journal entries and there was no such thing as (gasp:) the internet. And I had no children. or dogs. We had a cat, but truthfully you don't really have a cat as much as it has you.

We lived in an apartment and thought we were so grown up. as IF. Years don't grow you up near as much as kids do... and trouble. And trouble with kids grows you up the most. That's what I hear anyway; mine are perfect angels (dodging the lightening:)

This time around I am determined to not eat out so much, as we did in those days. I am trying to learn to cook several meals over the weekend and store them in such a way as to preserve a modicum of yumminess for later in the week. It's a challenge. I have learned a few things that work and few that don't. Sometimes the whole meal is left over friendly; sometimes just part can be pre-cooked. And I am trying not to worry about the land fill that I am personally responsible for with my foil pans.

I can't really figure out when to shop. Walmart is CRAZY on the weekends, but I'm exhausted in the evenings. Hubby plays a friendly little game of poker a couple of times a month. I am thinking about trying it then. I spend less when he is not with me. Not that he doesn't get goodies, mind you; he is all about the food related surprises. Somehow, I spend more on other stuff when he is around; much like I do when my sister and I team up. I guess that I am just distracted. Maybe there are Walmart employees who just sneak around the store adding a few items here or there to the ever growing cart. If my kids can get by with it, I assure you that a complete stranger would never even be noticed.

Laundry is also a challenge to get finished over the weekend because you can only make the washer and dryer go SO fast. At least the weather is warming up so I will be able to take advantage of the clothesline that I got last spring. That moves things along a little quicker, and they smell so yummy when I remember to bring them in off the line. Leaving them out in the rain is... well, not so yummy.

I am watching the weeds coming up in what should be a flower bed and sigh to myself. There is no chance that I am going to get to that. The hall has been spackled for painting for two years. whatever.

At least my sister has blessedly succombed to my pleading to groom the girls and I have spoken to a very nice lady who can come and clean my shower.

Yay... maybe I will see that pool this summer.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A Month in Review

YIKES... it's been a month since the last blog. So much has happened.

One of the dogs peed in my bed. the sheets were new. and freshly washed.
Same dog pooped on my bed while I was in the shower. after I washed the peed sheets.
I am pretty sure that she is mad. I know that I am. She is mad about the new dog run that is 10 x 10 instead of the nice big ole yard that she has had free reign of for the last couple of years. I am mad about... well, you know what I am mad about.

I went to Disney World for the first time:)

I sat with the most beautiful girl on the planet and watched the fireworks over Cinderella's castle.

I saw my sister pay a hundred bucks to have scrambled eggs with some chick in a Cinderella costume. I didn't break it to her that she is really a cartoon.

Had an argument with Drucilla about whether or not she could have my chocolate chip mint ice cream... right in the middle of a parade. paid $5 for that bowl... darn right I kept it.

I rode the monorail.

I ate a turkey leg that tasted like pork. Not sure how this is done.

I traded WAY too many pins.

I rode the Hollywood Tower of Terror. twice:)

I missed my hubby and my son.

I missed my dogs.

One of them did NOT miss me.