Friday, December 19, 2008

I'll take the gas...

Yesterday I made a trip over to my local dentistry establishment to have a little cleaning. First I had to explain why it had been so long since they had seen me... "no, Dr. Soandso, I was not abducted by aliens who, incidentally, did some cleaning"; "no, I haven't been in a coma"; "no, I haven't been in prison". Nope, just been MIA. You know sometimes life just happens and you look up one day and discover that it's been 3 years since you have been to the dentist. No wonder my gums are bleeding so much. whatever.

In any case, I dropped my son off to work (he loves it when his mommy takes him to work) and headed on over with the other child. It had been so long that I had to refill out all of the paperwork for my file. In all fairness, I have moved twice in the last two years so they really needed new info; but, why oh why can they not streamline some of the questions. I mean, for pity's sake, I had to write my husbands name and other info four times and he wasn't even there.

After filling out mountains of paperwork for both of us, we were called back. Little stop at the potty and we are off to get clean teeth. After talking with J, the lady who always does the cleaning part, she suggested that a little nitrous oxide would make things easier... you know, because of my TMJ. That way she could use the scary hydrotherapy thingy that I never let her use and it would be quicker and she wouldn't have to apply too much pressure to my jaw and I wouldn't have to have my jaw open so long and it would be more relaxed, blah, blah blah. She had me at "do you want gas", if you know what I mean... DUH!

So I am lying there, breathing deeply of the only only high I'm every gonna get and it occurs to me that I am very thankful that I made that little stop at the potty. It also occurs to me that if I were to open up a kiosk in the mall selling this stuff I'd make a fortune. I could set up little booths where you could take a 30 minute "nap". Wow! What a great idea. I also decided that J had a really pretty earring on, but I was a little distracted.

At some point, the lady who was cleaning Bethany's teeth wanted to come in and "discuss" how Bethany's visit had gone. Stole the buzz. rats. After she left, I checked with J to make sure that I hadn't given Bethany away or anything. She said nope, she was still coming home with me so its all good.


Anonymous said...

hahahaha! We just finished our little dentist outing- with all 4 children! You sound kinda like I did when we transferred here and I had just gone thru like 6 or 8 fillings a week before we came and then I didn't see a dentist here until about 2 years later.

Joanna said...

Did they let you take a 'to go' bag of gas? What's the street value of that? At least it was painless. I think you should use this for everything. Crisis? Gas me first. :)

My Goodness said...

A little gas sounds good for this time of year...mmmm

Smiling Shelly said...

I wish I could let myself relax that much when I take the gas that they offer. My mind starts going in the other direction wondering if it is possible to breath too deeply and get too much gas. Then I worry that I may do just that and make a big fool of myself - because I have a vague memory of singing to my dentist when I was young and on the gas - so I concentrate on evening out my breathing and trying to focus on other things in the room to take my mind off the fact that the gas is making me nervous.

Whew! It's a very stressful thing, being able to hear my thoughts that clearly.