Friday, December 19, 2008

I'll take the gas...

Yesterday I made a trip over to my local dentistry establishment to have a little cleaning. First I had to explain why it had been so long since they had seen me... "no, Dr. Soandso, I was not abducted by aliens who, incidentally, did some cleaning"; "no, I haven't been in a coma"; "no, I haven't been in prison". Nope, just been MIA. You know sometimes life just happens and you look up one day and discover that it's been 3 years since you have been to the dentist. No wonder my gums are bleeding so much. whatever.

In any case, I dropped my son off to work (he loves it when his mommy takes him to work) and headed on over with the other child. It had been so long that I had to refill out all of the paperwork for my file. In all fairness, I have moved twice in the last two years so they really needed new info; but, why oh why can they not streamline some of the questions. I mean, for pity's sake, I had to write my husbands name and other info four times and he wasn't even there.

After filling out mountains of paperwork for both of us, we were called back. Little stop at the potty and we are off to get clean teeth. After talking with J, the lady who always does the cleaning part, she suggested that a little nitrous oxide would make things easier... you know, because of my TMJ. That way she could use the scary hydrotherapy thingy that I never let her use and it would be quicker and she wouldn't have to apply too much pressure to my jaw and I wouldn't have to have my jaw open so long and it would be more relaxed, blah, blah blah. She had me at "do you want gas", if you know what I mean... DUH!

So I am lying there, breathing deeply of the only only high I'm every gonna get and it occurs to me that I am very thankful that I made that little stop at the potty. It also occurs to me that if I were to open up a kiosk in the mall selling this stuff I'd make a fortune. I could set up little booths where you could take a 30 minute "nap". Wow! What a great idea. I also decided that J had a really pretty earring on, but I was a little distracted.

At some point, the lady who was cleaning Bethany's teeth wanted to come in and "discuss" how Bethany's visit had gone. Stole the buzz. rats. After she left, I checked with J to make sure that I hadn't given Bethany away or anything. She said nope, she was still coming home with me so its all good.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cain would be so proud...

This morning I was the unwitting participant in the age-old battle of sibling rivalry.

Being that my children are nearly four years apart we have had many years of the typical pickmepickme battles for attention. Brian, as the first born, usually comes out with the upper hand but lately Bethany has made some notable strides. Take the front seat, for instance. Unlike the children of today who must remain in a car seat until their 21st birthday, my children began fighting for the front seat since the younger one turned about ten. That was about the time that I instituted the "happy day" rule. Brian's birthday is on the 24th of August (even days) and Bethany's birthday is on the 25th of April (odd days); so I decided that all happy things should occur with the odd/even split. If you have more than two children then you are toast. Sorry about that...

All happy things included, but were not limited to "shotgun", tv remote control, first pick, first turn, and basically any other thing that lent itself to bickering. This was a glorious rule that kept peace for many years. Most things could be settled in this matter.

Couldn't decide on a movie... "whose happy day is it?"
Couldn't pick a restaurant... "whose happy day is it?"
Couldn't clean the playroom in peace... "whose happy day is it?"
Ah, I yearn for the days when it was that easy.

When Brian began driving, the quest for "shotgun" became a complicated issue. He made up all kind of rules about it like, you have to 'call' it; then you have be within sight of the car to 'call' it; then you have to be touching the car to 'call' it. Of course, all of these rules were designed to outwit the younger sister but as long as she wasn't screaming about it, I just let them work it out for themselves. After all, that's what we all REALLY want as parents, right. We don't really care about justice... we just want a little PEACE AND QUIET.

This morning Bethany politely asked if she could drive when I made a little trip into town to drop Brian off to work and her to a friend's. It was an innocent enough request. Little did I know that Brian had already "called" shotgun using all of the aforementioned criteria so when I said yes to her request it effectively nullified his call for shotgun.

WOW, nicely played.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Grilling goodness

1. How many Christmas parties have you attended or will you attend? last weekend was the Sunday school shindig and the home school progressive dinner. this week was the company party at the orpheum... the "pajama game", thank you very much. still have family gatherings and the choir fellowship after the Christmas program to go.
2. What is your favorite dish to take to a party? that would be my much anticipated cheese ball, and no, Jenny, I will not post the recipe. every year I fight off the would-be copycats who want to boag my recipe, which technically I got from a friend, but having given this one out before and then had it served at every function in my place forevermore makes me a little punchy. note to self: it is in poor taste to make a person's signature cheese ball from heaven WHEN THEY ARE MAKING IT. I would never make this yumminess and take it to the house of the friend from which I procured this delight. I'm just saying...
3. When you're at home and your feet are chilled, do you wear socks or houseshoes? usually socks, although I have been know to supplement with a heating pad and the other night I came out of my room with a really furry hat that I intended to put my VERY cold feet into, but my daughter put the nix on that... it was her hat.
4. What are your plans for this weekend? raking leaves that my son was supposed finish by tonight... if you are reading this, Brian, I will be expecting back the $75 advance that I paid you for this job. If miraculously my son does make the leaves go away, I expect that I will be attending the birthday party of my great niece who turns one today.
5. What is the most expensive Christmas gift you are buying for your children this year? one semester of emt tuition for Brian and one semester of violin and piano lessons for Bethany.
6. Do you have a family portrait made each year? I wish I had done that. A friend mentioned that she buys a "Christmas" frame every year and puts her kids visit-with-Santa picture in it. I have never bought one of those frames because I just figured that it would look stupid having a Christmas ornamenty frame around the house in, like, July for instance. It never occurred to me to pack it up with the ornaments and use it for decoration. Rats. How cool would it be if I had a whole collection of Christmas pictures to put out by now. So... I started this year. Maybe I can have cool grandma pictures one day.
7. Do you drive your kids around looking for decorated homes? mostly we just look at the ones that we are already driving by, although we usually try to make sure that we make a trip down Rosemark Rd and the horse farm every year.
8. What is your least favorite thing about cold weather? I hate that the cold hurts my joints so much; I really love winter and want so much to enjoy it.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

So much to tell... so little time.

I have been so busy around here with the holidays that I haven't had time to blog so much. Sorry about that. I figured that I better check in on my bloggy friends this morning and I don't dare leave comments without having some stuff for them to check out on mine, so here goes.

Had I had the time I might have told you about the fella that was making change out of the offering basket that I was passing in the choir. That was a first, I have to say. If ever you have the urge to "break" a twenty in the offering plate... don't. It doesn't look nice. I am assuming since he was not struck by lightning, that he didn't take more than he left. I'm just saying...

Or I could tell you about my husband coming home from the mall with one very shiny index finger. He was off by himself, ostensibly to do a little Christmas shopping, when he was attacked by a little woman with a heavy foreign accent at a kiosk in the mall offering to show him the wonders of some stuff from the dead sea that she was certain that his wife would LOVE to find under the tree. He didn't know how to escape this little woman and presto chango - she had put some magic stuff on his index fingernail that left it decidedly shiny. I guess I should point out here that hubby is not the get-a-manicure kinda guy. More of a macho-dude, this man of mine. To say that he was not happy is somewhat of an understatement. By the way, I am pretty sure that he didn't buy the magic dead sea manicure stuff... it wasn't on the list I gave him and he has strict instruction NOT to use his own ideas.

Speaking of finernails, I should also mention here that apparently the toenail of your pinky toe is vital to a sound mind. I lost mine in a battle with an inappropriately placed box in the kitchen. It hurts like crazy.

And did you know that the phrase "freaking me out" was actually used in 1963. I was watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special with Bethany and CB's little sister Sally actually said, "blah blah blah is FREAKING ME OUT". who knew.

I also discovered this past week that my own daughter has never seen The Wizard of Oz. How can that be? Every kid has to have the b-jeepers scared out of them by this movie at least once in their lives. I remember hiding in the kitchen from the monkeys EVERY YEAR. Of course we didn't have cable back in the day so there weren't alot of options, but whatever.

Okay... that's it for now. Time to balance the checkbook and assess the damage that my weekend Christmas shopping has done to the budget. good grief.

Monday, December 1, 2008

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas... I mean the "holidays"

So I was doing a little decorating and listening to Tony Bennett, my official entrance into the Christmas season, and the thought occurred to me... raindrop on roses and whiskers on kittens; bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens; brown paper packages tied up with strings. Are these really indicative of my favorite things? I think not. Who makes this stuff up, anyway. I think that they were just looking for stuff that rhymes. I mean really; they could have been just looking around the room, making it up as they went. They were probably sitting in a group around the kitchen table after having one too many and writing the quintessential song of The Sound of Music. Of course if Julie Andrews sings it, it must be true. She plays a nun, after all.

December is in full force. I have already hosted a progressive dinner (dessert part) and attended a Sunday school party. We still have potentially four more family gatherings to participate in and several doctors appointments to hit before the end of the year. Is anyone else tired just from the planning? Fortunately, I only have the boys two days this week and next and then I am "off" for the next two weeks. yippee.