Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bah Humbug.

Okay. So I have given in completely to the whole Christmas music moratorium that I put on myself every year at this time. I admit it... I am hopelessly addicted to Christmas music. can't wait til after Thanksgiving, no matter how hard I try. I am resisting the urge to drag out the tree, but the fact that we are having Thanksgiving at home has been my staying power. I don't really want to carve Tom Turkey in the shadow of a perfectly decorated tree.



I guess I was warped as a child (weren't we all?) because we were not allowed to set up the Christmas tree until the 10th of December, every year. Not because we had a real tree that needed to last til the 25th, mind you. No... we had the same sad little charlie brownish artificial number EVERY stinkin year. My mother probably grew up in the era of Christmas Eve decorating and thought that she was being very generous but I was chomping at the bit every Christmas.



When David and I got married we tried the whole "real" tree thing. Never had it as a kid, so naturally it seemed more desirable. One year we pulled a National Lampoon episode. Wish someone would have been nearby taking subversive video. I could have made a fortune.



We picked out the most gorgeous tree at the tree farm. Of course your perspective of tree size is somewhat off in a huge field full of lush greenery so the tree was considerably larger than the living room of our apartment. The tree was transported in its branch confining contraption which when clipped unfurled the most amazing display of plumage. Lamps went flying, cat scrambled upstairs. I swear a squirrel shot out of the bottom and I was picking evergreen out of the piano keys six months later. Okay, maybe I exaggerate... but not by much. David ended up cutting several feet of of the bottom of it to allow it to stand without having to bow down. I am not kidding about that.



A couple of years later, when the trauma had worn off we tried again. This time the spider crop came in just after the sap had finished dripping all over the presents and ornaments so that we had trapped baby spiders in the amber adorning the gifts to present to our loved ones. EWWW!



Maybe if you lived in a place that has real snow you can have a real tree, but it's not really practical in the south. So we opted for the artificial kind, without the Charlie Brown attitude. The good news is that you can put it up as early as you want. THAT'S what I am talk.ing. about:) But, I really should wait another week or so. fine.

Mom just realized that sis is going to be gone for Thanksgiving this year. Of course she has been bragging about it for months, but whatever. Since Mom ate with her last year, she just assumed that that was where she would be this year. Then I reminded her that Diane would be kicking up her heals with the Rockettes this year; you know Mom, Macy's day parade and all that... awkward silence... cue crickets... humdedum... how bout those Bears?? Yea, I could have just jumped in with an invitation but I figured that I was already toast for not providing a preemptive invite, so I might as well not. Oh poop. Sometimes the holidays really suck. Sorry guys, I mean they "inhale sharply" as hubby says.

somebody shoot me.

5 comments:

Joanna said...

If only we could adopt each other and say gosh no room at the inn. Sigh

I'm going to a cousin's house. It's like Switzerland - neutral so no fighting and she always has chocolate.

Hubby has banned any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. It's snowing right now and I have Christmas music playing. I bet the kids are going to rat me out. :)

Chris said...

Hey... snow trumps any date on the calendar. I'm so jealous. Oh, and chocolate and neutrality. I am so there:)

HappyChristian said...

MMmmmmmmm chocolate! I am so looking for chocolate recipies.
We're doing Thanksgiving a day late this year, so I've decided that Jer has to go to the attic and pull all the Christmas stuff down on Thanksgiving Day. (just don't tell him that yet, it'll ruin my fun)

rthling said...

Oh, I can just see me kicking it up there with the Rockettes. Can you just hear the comments?
"how'd they get the BIG FAT WHALE up there with the girls? and HOW does she do that with her BIG GIANT LEGS???
Oh, you crack me up!
And Shawn told me RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS MOTHER that I needed to save my blog on her computer so she can read what I write. So how am I gonna write about the joys of visiting here now. I ask you???

Your story of your first real Christmas tree made me want to say, "Little full, lot of sap."

humdedum, and all that. Miss you already!

Smiling Shelly said...

I can't get into the Christmas spirit until after Thanksgiving...anything prior to that is just too early and I swear it just keeps getting earlier and earlier every year. I think I even saw them putting up the decorations at Halloween in one store. UGH!

And putting up a tree....not on the top of my list of "Fun Things To Do" :(

Happy Thanksgiving!