side note, part two... speaking of my address, a friend so kindly pointed out that it looked like I was a scorner of eeyore; now the address is bugging me. thanks, jeff.
excuse me, I just needed to turn the burning taco meat on the stove...
On a more serious note, I have made the decision to suspend the relentless search for employment for the time being. I figure that I will get several lucrative offers any time now.
A very wise woman I know once said that just because we know what to do, doesn't always mean that we are doing it. I KNOW that I shouldn't eat 2 servings of apple pie after a carbohydrate infested meal of homemade chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes. I KNOW that it will make me feel nauseous. I KNOW that it is sinful to eat more than my body needs. I KNOW that the Bible calls this gluttony... but it is yummy, so I do it anyway. All the while, feeling the satisfaction of knowing that I am a stickler of obeying the speed limit. I am a "good girl". I follow the rules. I ALWAYS do the right thing. yeah right
Excuse me while I exercise my I John 1:9 privileges...
Okay... what was I saying. Oh yeah, just because we know to do right doesn't always mean we are doing it. What does that have to do with my search for the perfect job?? I am glad you asked.
As I was sitting unsuspectingly in choir Sunday night, choir director (R) was giving a devotion about Moses. Surprisingly enough this led my brain to the sunday school lesson of that morning concerning Saul. (don't ask how my brain went from Moses to Saul; God ways are not our ways:) In any case, Samuel had asked Saul to go to a certain city and wait for seven days for him to come and offer sacrifices for the people before they were to go into battle. It seems that Samuel was taking liberties with the time frame or maybe someone stopped him on his way and offered him pie. Nevertheless he was (insert gasp) LATE. Saul got itchy feet because the people were losing interest and the enemy was looming scary, so he decided to get this show on the road. He called for the animals to be brought forth and he took care of business without the benefit of a priest. bad idea. It seems that Samuel showed up just as the roast was starting to smell good. He has a way of doing that. When Samuel asks the obvious, Saul begins to make excuses, even blaming Samuel for his tardiness. another bad idea. We all know the story; that in the end Saul loses his crown to David, but the point for me was this... what was Saul's sin? His logic was sound, he had the best interest of the people in mind and he was the king after all. His sin was simply this: he was not a priest. He stepped out of his role as the king and presumed another that was not his right. Everyone knows that only a priest had the authority to offer sacrifices on behalf of the people. He let fear and pride and his "i can fix that" attitude rule the day. God broke him for it. Wow. Okay, God I don't need a preacher to figure this one out.
So here's the deal. My husband, bless his hard workin' self, is my God-given provider. That is his role, not mine. (heard that recently from a friend, thanks L) He works hard and takes GOOD care of this family. So, the gas prices are sky freakin' high; so the groceries budget is in the toilet. So, the bill collectors are mounting and the bad decisions of a better time are looming their ugly heads. God says that he will never forsake us. I will trust in Him (and him:). I believe that my role is to facilitate my husband's role as provider. It is to provide a sweet haven for him to return to; a hot meal (most nights:); clean socks to wear to that blessed job he works so hard at; and a home that makes him proud to bring his parent to visit. I may not be able to find the perfect job; but THAT I can do.
I get that in this world of feminism, this school of thought is a step backward. But, I know that when I stay in MY role I have a peace that passes all understanding. Someday, my "seven days" may be over but for now... I'll just wait.