Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Square One

It seems that I am back to square one. rats. Now what...

The job interview that went so well didn't end so well. Somehow, I failed to express my desperate need for them; and theirs for me.

Perfect job slipped thru stupid fingers. check.

Truth is, I HAD the perfect job. I loved what I did. I was a full charge bookkeeper for a tiny little business that in my time there grew from a couple of boys playing at having their own business to an actual out and out business with employees and everything. I built the business end from nothing. It wasn't mine, so I had nothing to loose; but I had the freedom to use all of my creativity to its fullest. I set my own hours. Even took my dogs to work. I LOVED it.

I didn't love everything, mind you. I found out that I really hate insurance... and the IRS. But, I love balancing ledgers, and counting petty cash, and making deposits and paying bills (other people's bills with other people's money), and I LOVE payroll. But, what I loved most was creating solutions for the needs that the business encountered as it grew. I loved making charts and lists and making everyone fill them out:)

So, why did I leave, you ask?? Well... did I mention that one of the boys playing at owning the business was my little brother; and that he is somewhat of a typical type A personality. And did I mention that my mother financed this little venture; and that she is also somewhat of a type A personality. And did I mention that I was somewhat stressed out (I mean, ready to shoot myself in the face) at being caught between them.

All of this stress was complicating an already complicated situation. In the midst of all of this drama, I was trying to continue home schooling my kids which was becoming increasingly difficult. So, I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. I left.

I. don't. regret. it. one. bit.

Fast forward almost 18 months. Brian is off to college and Bethany starts homeschool/private school combination and needs less and less of me. NOW I have to time have the perfect job, preferably one that doesn't included a rock and/or a hard place.

Problem is, I don't even know where to begin to search now that my dream job isn't dreaming of me. I've had total freedom... it's kinda hard to work for "the man" when you've been your own boss. I'm feeling kinda whiny about it. Kinda like crawling back into bed.

I hate square one.


rthling said...

You know, you wouldn't look nearly as cute with an extra hole in your face.

Joanna said...

Ugh. Not fun. Just don't make the IRS mad - they will come tax you for that hole you put in your face.
My Dad had his own business and thanks to him fighting the IRS and losing he now works for someone else. He said it's not as stressful cuz he's not the one responsible.