Monday, June 30, 2008

In other news...

I was checking my email this past week end and stopped to read the news on aol. Not sure if anyone else noticed this story, but there was a very sad excerpt about a teenager that was decapitated at Six Flags in GA by the "Batman" roller coaster. Now, having been on the Batman (in St Louis) and having teenagers of my own, and being the sensitive sort that I am I am suddenly drawn into this story and how the family must be feeling and how scary life is when all you wanted to do was take your children on a fun day and how it could all end so tragically. When I clicked on the story to get more info (because feeling sad and scared was just not enough), the information that followed left me speechless...sort of. Apparently this teenager had climbed two 6 foot fences and passed several signs that said DANGER, etc. Why did he do this senseless act of defiance which led to the loss of his head, you ask?? To get his hat. Does anyone else see the irony here? I went from the complete horror of the description of this tragic accident to trying to hold back the irresistible urge to laugh uncontrollably. I failed... kids came running to see what was so funny. All I could do was point. I guess I should mention that we have a morbid sense of humor around here, because it sort of set off a chain reaction of "ways we wouldn't want to die".

Okay, there really is a point to this story other than a shameless attempt to amuse myself at someone else's expense. The point is this: how many times do we ignore God's boundaries because we have to get our hat? God says "thou shalt not", and we look both ways and then do what we want because we don't see (or believe) the danger. "but God", we say, "I will just be a minute... I will come right back... no one will ever know..." We don't just defy His warning, we actually take the time and effort to climb the fences that were put in place to protect us. Are we really so arrogant as to think that we know better the creator of the ride?

The thing is that I am, by nature, a rule follower. Often in my life that has been mistaken for a snooty, self righteous, holier-than-thou little (can't repeat that part). I really don't mean to be, I just honestly don't understand the urge to defy the boundaries. I guess that I really believe that they are for my benefit and I don't understand the need of some to push them. Why do people do that?

I have tried to pass this down to my children, but have not always been successful. They still tell me stories of what their "friends" are doing that are in clear violation of the Word and they don't see that the consequences can be deadly, and permanent.

I wish that I could somehow communicate to them that although the people at Six Flags put those fences and warning signs there out of a strong desire to not get sued, God puts up his fences and warning signs out of His infinite love for his children, and yes even for humanity in general since anyone can benefit from His principles. We are raising a generation of children that are being taught to color "outside of the lines". When did that become creative instead of chaotic?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

mid life crisis

After the kids left for camp, my sister convinced me to drag my lonely derriere up to stay with her at camp for a couple of days. I really had plans to stay home and wallow in my depression, darn it... but she just wouldn't listen.

I am feeling the pressure of the coming empty nest in the worst way. I have actually been dreading it for about ten years, but now the reality is upon me. I remember when I was a girl, dreaming about what I wanted to be when I grew up. While my dad was dreaming about my fast-paced career by which I would change the world, I was dreaming about raising sweet faced little cherubs and all the things that I would teach them and how I would love them and they would adore me.

Fast forward nineteen years and the end of life as I have known it is quickly approaching. Now what??? Go back to work, travel, stay in bed?? I don't really know what to do with my life. This is the bad part of having my children as young as I did and not having enough of them to fill up my forties. I should be excited about a new chapter, but mostly I just feel very tired.

My last pregnancy left me with some sort of auto immune disease (lupus??)... who knows! So, whatever I do with the rest of my life has to be tempered with my physical restrictions. Do you have any idea what chronic pain and fatigue can do to your attitude?? I need a job that I can do in my PJ's... maybe even from bed:) I guess it's a little late to pursue a career as a marine biologist. I have my bookkeeping degree, but that just doesn't sound like fun any more. I did my stint as a full charge bookkeeper. I didn't do a half bad job, but working for family has its own "rewards", if you know what I mean. I have also done a little child care, but the bad thing about that is that your day is measured by how many poopy diapers you have had to change. There is just something wrong about that... Hubby comes home, "how was your day??"...I say, "six poopy diapers". nuff said. So now, I am facing the REAL "this is the first day of the rest of your life" that they meant when I graduated from college. Fortunately, Bethany is just 15 so I have a little time left to "find" myself.

Maybe I will sow a few wild oats. No, wait it's too late for that... these days it's oatMEAL.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Poker night

It's Friday night and here I am...all alone. Hubby has poker night with some guys from church a couple of nights a month. No money, just a bunch of guys sitting around some one's kitchen table eating munchies and having guy time. He took Brian tonight and Bethany is over at a friend's watching movies. Soooo, it's just me and the dogs. Good news is that I get the remote:) Just felt a little itch to come and check my email accounts and do a little blogging while the DVR is paused on dateline. (because I NEVER get to watch that!)

The kids are leaving for youth camp on Monday, so we have been doing laundry and getting packed for their trip. My kitchen is currently overflowing with suitcases and bedding in preparation for the joyous occasion. The kids have worked like busy little bees getting my list of "requirements" finished before they head out. I think that I have milked it to its limit, though. The good news is that I will have a freshly cleaned house to enjoy for the few days of peace that I am allowed a year. Brian even did the yard today and almost finished the weeds in the front flower beds. For those of you driving by, don't look too closely...he really hates weeding.

Brian is jobless at the moment, so he is doing yard work to pay for his car insurance. He is not too happy about having to "pay" this week since he is going to be out of town and not doing any driving. I have been telling him for years that grown up life is really stinky sometimes, but he is just getting the gist himself. Sometimes kids grow up with this silly notion that grown ups get to do whatever they want whenever they want and with whomever they want to do it. I know I do:) Imagine his surprise when he starting working a real job this year and I started making him buy his own phone minutes and pay for his own car insurance and buy gas and stuff. YIKES! "you mean I can't spend MY money that I earned on whatever I want to buy???", he says. "Duh", I say..."Welcome to big boy world!!"

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Wednesday musings...part 2

More stuff from the floor in Brian's room:)

I close my eyes in prayer tonight
And plead with my Father and Lord
to remove from me this thorn in my side
This sickness that flows from my core.

How do I escape the thorn of my sin?
This curse of all mankind?
Is there no way for me to win,
but to leave this world behind?

And when I cried that the fight was too hard
that is when You said to me,
"It doesn't matter where you are,
My grace is sufficient for thee."

Wish the other stuff on the floor was this pretty:)

Monday, June 16, 2008

Money in the real world

I have a funny little song in my head today. Goes like this "money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round; a buck, a yen, a mark, a pound; money makes the world go money money money blah blah blah". I used to have an economics teacher in high school that used to sing this over and over in class. He sells car insurance these days...who knew??

The homeschool group is sending out money saving tips today. Everyone is giving their best advise about coupons and such and I am feeling like a failure. I guess that I have just reached the point where I have given up. So hamburger costs $7 a pound...sure, give me three pounds! Gas, $4 a gallon...I'll drive:) You want REAL Captain Crunch??? no problem.

I don't remember the last time that I read a store flyer or cut a coupon. I just blindly rush thru Kroger letting complete strangers load my cart up. Imagine my surprise when I get home and unload the trunk full of Cheese Its and HubbaBubba.

I am so tired of the month lasting longer than the money... I just want to buy a package of socks, for heaven's sake, without having to take out a loan!! My husband still dreams about "one day" only now it sounds like "one day when the kids are gone" but I say what fun is that?? Who cares about the cool camper once they are not around to take camping?? I think I am just going to buy a time share and spend my winters on the beach day.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Cold medicine and other world wonders...

I decided tonight that I think it is safe to sit down and write a bit. I have been on cold medicine this past week and there have been alot of things floating around in my brain, but maybe not stuff I would want out in cyberworld. Not bad stuff, really, just stuff that makes you wonder what a person thinks about all day... Like last night in choir I was sitting there trying to pay attention to some new music and the thought hit me that my jeans were really shorter than I like them. I bought a size **Regular (I will just keep the number to myself, thank you very much) when maybe I should have bought a **Tall. The problem is that the "tall" variety are made for freakishly tall women like my sweet friend who should wear a t-shirt that says "I'm 6'3", and I am not that tall. I end up having to roll them up several times which looks a little weird...of course, that is not really the point. I am in choir. Who cares how long my pants are?

So, I pull myself together, sit up straight, put my music in order, take a deep breath, when I notice that my dad mentioned a praise that 7 of his grandchildren where in VBS this past week and I find myself going over all of the children in my head to check his count...what is UP with that???

Another deep breath...I wonder how much money I have left on my Kroger gift card that I purchased for $300 and got $30 free and wow that's almost a tank of gas, or maybe I haven't saved any money at all because I will go to Kroger for some things that I would normally have stopped at Walmart for and they will cost more. And, oh what if I stop at Kroger and can't find the card in my purse and have to use my debit card anyway...

Fast forward to Friday because I couldn't even sit still to finish THAT!

Took my baby to get her permit today. It's official...I'm old. Hardly even a mom anymore. I have to say though that it is really difficult to muster up some of that old fashioned excitement for the second kid getting a drivers license after the first one has been on the road for a couple of years. I mean, I know that it is just as thrilling for her to feel the rubber on the road as it was a couple of years ago for him, but I have had just about all of the years shaved off of my life that I can stand! But, I pulled myself up by my boot straps (figuratively speaking:) and made sure to hand over the keys before the day was out. whoopie...

While we were out, Bethany spent a good part of the afternoon spending all of her hard earned savings from birthday and baby sitting on clothes for camp. She is on the "pink" team this year, so we had to go all pink. Pink hats, pink jammies, pink shorts, pink shirts, pink eye...okay maybe not that; but she does have an appointment to get the bottom layer of her hair dyed pink tomorrow with a friend. Funny thing...she doesn't really like pink:) At least not this year. Favorite colors tend to change alot when you are 15. And may I just say that last year she was on the orange team, so none of those clothes are good this year. Whose idea was that??? I think they work for Target.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Date night at Walmart

It's Saturday, so hubby and I decided that we wanted to test our sanity at Walmart. I never go on the weekends because it is just crazy there, but I have had the little kids all week this week and haven't had a chance to get there.

The checker lady was very friendly. I am not sure if she was working on her material for "last comic standing" or if she just thought my husband was hot, but she was very chatty and I was getting cranky because I had just risked my life for a box of velveeta. I really wanted to go. NOW. We bought a movie and my husband was hoping for the alarm to sound on the way out so we could run (I mean walk really fast) to our car while the person who guards the door chased us into the parking lot. I am not too big on this game, but if it makes him happy who am I to argue?

After 21 years of marriage this constitutes a date... mostly because by the time we get home we are too tired to do anything else. When we got home, Brian had cut the grass. How's that for service? I guess we should feed him today.

Speaking of feeding, I put the dogs on a new feeding schedule. Truly is 9 lbs and if you know anything about Yorkies, she should be somewhere in the neighborhood of about 5-7 lbs. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but I read in a magazine this week that on a yorkie, every pound overweight is like 30 lbs to you and me. On top of that, Zoe is done nursing and I am trying to help her dry up her milk. She has ALOT of milk. She doesn't even need us to rub her belly right now; all she has to do is walk across the living room. Vet says "restrict her diet". So, two adult yorkies on a diet at my house...yeah! Let's just say that they are not too happy. Zoe is normally a very happy dog but today she is following me around the house giving me the expectant look that she does when I have forgotten to do something...This look immediately causes me to drop what I am doing and check food and water dishes and let her out. I can't really explain that look, but dog owners will know:) Truly, my little Eeyore, is moping around here like she is confused about what she did to receive such treatment. She tends to be the depressed one, hides under the bed and such, unless you have a ball of some kind. Whenever I can't find her all I have to do is bounce a tennis ball in the kitchen. Works every time. I can't wait to know Schatzi's personality. In the mean time, the big girls are scoping the house looking to score. Dad put down a box of chicken nuggets and came back in the kitchen for some tea...stupidhead. Let's just say they left the box:)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Men and boys...

Asked my son to "clean" the kitchen yesterday. Not sure what I was thinking would happen. Before it was over I was having to threaten to withhold my car from him for the night to get it done. That is pretty much the last thing I have to hold over him. Once he gets his own wheels, it's all over. Today I have spent a good deal of the morning putting away the things that he put out of sight. Found a cup full of grease that needed disposed of under the sink. Found the Windex wipes in the basket of pasta on the pantry shelf. (the closet they belong in is several steps closer)...And for some reason he thinks that if you shove everything up against the wall on the counter that that counts for putting it "away". As if that can of tomato sauce that I didn't use last night now belongs on the counter awaiting its next opportunity to be used. I have even been known to find dirty dishes that were too big for the dishwasher outside in the backyard in an effort to avoid the inevitable. I suppose that it would have been easier to just clean the kitchen myself, but I am pretty sure that that is what he is after and I hate losing battle of wits with my kids.

Honestly, I have spent the last ten years or so trying to train this out of him with no luck. I have come to the conclusion that this is a chromosomal abnormality known only to men. I should have known better than to try to buck genetics. His father has successfully convinced me that he cannot be trusted with a paint brush. Once when we were trying to sell our house and were doing the little touch ups, I found myself painting all alone and even refusing his help. At one point, I was sitting on the front porch painstakingly painting every detail of the railing while he sat on the bench chatting with me... A man drove by honking his horn and giving my husband the thumbs up. I think that it is a conspiracy.

Remember that part of Bill Cosby's bit about his wife sending him to his room WHICH WAS WHERE HE WANTED TO BE ANYWAY!! I wish someone would send me to my room. I need a nap:)

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Part time parenting...

Baby down for his morning catnap and 2 year old eating cheerios out of a baggy and watching Winnie the Pooh. Whew! I do a little child care on the side to tide me over until the grandchildren. It really is kind of nice doing a little part time parenting. I get the best part of the day and just about the time they are driving me nuts, they go home to their momma and I get in the pool!! How great is that... AND I get weekends off and even a little $$$ to suppliment the gas budget. Hot dog!! The problem is that I don't have the "stuff" I had when mine were this age. I remember having two little ones at the same time, and full time at that. But I don't remember them taking this much out of me. I must be getting old.

For instance, I forgot that children have the ability to dislocate their joints at will. I went to pick up the two year old yesterday when he didn't want to be picked up and suddenly he had no shoulders. My hands went from his arm pits (kid handles) directly up his arms. HOW DOES HE DO THAT?? And when I want to put him down when he doesn't want down, he suddenly has no feet... Don't even get me started on how they can avoid a wash cloth after eating!

Mostly, it's just nice to have tickle fights and teddy grahams around the house again. But, I have to be extra vigilant because I wouldn't want to break someone else's child. If you break your own, you don't really have to explain to anyone... unless you have to take them to the emergency room. If you have to go to the ER with say, a broken arm, you better bring along a character witness and be prepared to submit to a lie detector test. And you better hope that you have been very nice to the kid that day, so that he doesn't throw you under to bus when everyone tenderly asks him what happened. Might want to consider stopping for ice cream on the way to the hospital. And be sure not to answer too quickly on his behalf of the nature of his injury or you will get the evil eye while you are being judged for your parenting skills. No pressure!

Have fun with your little ones today, and try not to break them:)