This is me... pretending that it hasn't been fourteen years since my last post.
Last year at about this time, my son introduced me to pandora.com. I love love love it, especially at this time of year. However, being a perfectionist by nature, I have to mention that some songs are sacred. I mean, really, Michael Buble should NEVER sing Santa Baby (or Buddy, or Dude). Everyone knows that that song belongs to Eartha Kitt; back up off Michael!
The problem with Christmas music is that there really isn't that much variety of songs, just artists. But the truth is that no one sings Mary Did You Know like Kathy Mattea, or Baby It's Cold Outside like Barry Manilow and KT Oslin. This year when I was loading my personal collection of Christmas music on to my iphone I resisted the urge to create a Christmas favorite list just so that I would only have one version of I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day (Casting Crowns, of course) and You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (Go Fish). The truth is that sometimes I am not very objective. Otherwise I am pretty sure that Julie Andrews' Favorite Things would trump Tony Bennett, but not so in my mind. After all, Tony kicked off Christmas every year when I was a child... sorry Ms. Andrews, betcha didn't see THAT coming!
All in all, I just love Christmas music so when we got to start our holidays early this year because Brian was here at Thanksgiving, this girl was not complaining.
Not one. little. bit.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Leaving on a jet plane
I have succeeded in purchasing a plane ticket for one husband to travel one way to pack up one son. I did it all for a whopping $70, and I'm feeling a little smug about it. You know on AOL when they offer ridiculous airfare prices just to get you to click... ha! Of course I am going to have to drive to Little Rock, AR to drop him off (one third of the way) and he is going to be arriving at some random little airport somewhere in the vicinity of Dallas. I am not even sure if they are actually landing. Maybe they are just gonna do a fly by and kind of push him out. In any case, it will be the job of the aforementioned son to collect said husband at the other end. Then Daddy is going to "help" pack a trailer and "help" drive him back to TN where he will hang out while he lines up his little duckies for the new semester. In a perfect world, he will have a job waiting for him and a student loan lined up to pay his tuition. I am sorry to say that my perfect little world came crashing in recently. I am not sure where I am going to be six months from now... let alone my adult offspring.
Moving on; and speaking of airplanes... did I mention that the house that we have moved to does not have central heat and air? Okay, now I have lived with window units before, but it's been a while- like a hundred years or so. I have forgotten how loud they are. I am going to have to get a little dry erase board to carry around to write down the things I want to say; partly because I have a soft voice and partly because my husband is DEAF. Every thing I say these days has to be said at least twice... every. single. word. The good news is that I get a chance to change my mind if I say something I regret. The bad news is that the window in my bedroom is right beside my bed. It's like sleeping in the engine of a jet plane (hence the reference to airplanes). The good news is that I can't hear ANYTHING ELSE- like snoring, or midnight trips to the fridge. The bad news is that I can't hear anything else- like my alarm clock, or my kid coming in safe and sound. Just one of the adjustments that this highly flexible woman is making:)
ps... found a t shirt at walmart the other day that said "sarcasm - just one of my many talents"
I believe I pulled it out of the dryer a couple of days later. hmmm.
Moving on; and speaking of airplanes... did I mention that the house that we have moved to does not have central heat and air? Okay, now I have lived with window units before, but it's been a while- like a hundred years or so. I have forgotten how loud they are. I am going to have to get a little dry erase board to carry around to write down the things I want to say; partly because I have a soft voice and partly because my husband is DEAF. Every thing I say these days has to be said at least twice... every. single. word. The good news is that I get a chance to change my mind if I say something I regret. The bad news is that the window in my bedroom is right beside my bed. It's like sleeping in the engine of a jet plane (hence the reference to airplanes). The good news is that I can't hear ANYTHING ELSE- like snoring, or midnight trips to the fridge. The bad news is that I can't hear anything else- like my alarm clock, or my kid coming in safe and sound. Just one of the adjustments that this highly flexible woman is making:)
ps... found a t shirt at walmart the other day that said "sarcasm - just one of my many talents"
I believe I pulled it out of the dryer a couple of days later. hmmm.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
and then...
The unpacking is going excruciatingly slow, but I did find my keys so we are all good.
Yesterday my sister walked in and announced that the house was beginning to smell like me. I think that a good thing. Actually I am burning a serious amount of money in my scentsy pots, so I guess she means I smell like cinnamon...
Which reminds me... if ever you know a young bride, be sure to tell her not to put cinnamon sticks in her new husband's underwear drawer. It's a bad idea.
In the meantime, I am trying to get as much unpacked as possible to make room for someone who is dropping by for a little visit before he transfers to somewhere closer to his mommy.
score!
Yesterday my sister walked in and announced that the house was beginning to smell like me. I think that a good thing. Actually I am burning a serious amount of money in my scentsy pots, so I guess she means I smell like cinnamon...
Which reminds me... if ever you know a young bride, be sure to tell her not to put cinnamon sticks in her new husband's underwear drawer. It's a bad idea.
In the meantime, I am trying to get as much unpacked as possible to make room for someone who is dropping by for a little visit before he transfers to somewhere closer to his mommy.
score!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Clarification
For the record, the registered letter that I received resulting in my homeless situation was apparently not an "eviction"... not in the legal sense. It was simply "a letter requesting a move", although I don't remember it saying please. I did not know this until the second time I was forced to call the police (so that I could leave with some measure of peace) and the kind officer told me.
Unfortunately I'm a bookkeeper.
Not a LAWYER
and when I get a letter that says get out on or before 8/1, I take it to mean get out.
silly me.
Unfortunately I'm a bookkeeper.
Not a LAWYER
and when I get a letter that says get out on or before 8/1, I take it to mean get out.
silly me.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Independence Day
So...
The last couple of weeks have been somewhat eventful. I have so many thank yous to send out that I haven't had the time to even begin. I have a three day weekend coming; I'm hoping to get those caught up... and find my shampoo. Just kidding, I know where the shampoo is:) sort of.
I am currently working on a timeline of phone conversations, emails, and confrontations so that I can keep the details straight in my head. yup, I'm a dork. Seriously, I fully expect to be forced into court and it seemed reasonable to at least be able to speak intelligently of the events of the past few weeks, which it turns out are the culmination of years of maternal disappointment. I would share them all publicly, because I have decided that I am done hiding and being afraid but these details really don't serve any purpose except to garner pity, which I don't really need. Suffice it to say that my character is in question here; half truths and lies abound, and things said out of context. The good news is that I don't give an account to my mother or my brother or the neighbors down the street for my actions or motives. That is probably the first thing on the list of things I am thankful for... along with my new dishwasher.
I am reminded of Joseph. His own brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of the love his father showered on him. When famine came to Egypt, God used Joseph to save the an entire civilization and the very family that betrayed him. When his brother asked why he would do such a thing his response was, "You meant it for evil; but God meant it for good". I really pray that I will have the strength of character to follow his example should the opportunity arise.
In the meantime, a wise person that I love with all my heart told me that the best revenge against she who can't be mentioned is to live well.
I think he's pretty smart.
The last couple of weeks have been somewhat eventful. I have so many thank yous to send out that I haven't had the time to even begin. I have a three day weekend coming; I'm hoping to get those caught up... and find my shampoo. Just kidding, I know where the shampoo is:) sort of.
I am currently working on a timeline of phone conversations, emails, and confrontations so that I can keep the details straight in my head. yup, I'm a dork. Seriously, I fully expect to be forced into court and it seemed reasonable to at least be able to speak intelligently of the events of the past few weeks, which it turns out are the culmination of years of maternal disappointment. I would share them all publicly, because I have decided that I am done hiding and being afraid but these details really don't serve any purpose except to garner pity, which I don't really need. Suffice it to say that my character is in question here; half truths and lies abound, and things said out of context. The good news is that I don't give an account to my mother or my brother or the neighbors down the street for my actions or motives. That is probably the first thing on the list of things I am thankful for... along with my new dishwasher.
I am reminded of Joseph. His own brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of the love his father showered on him. When famine came to Egypt, God used Joseph to save the an entire civilization and the very family that betrayed him. When his brother asked why he would do such a thing his response was, "You meant it for evil; but God meant it for good". I really pray that I will have the strength of character to follow his example should the opportunity arise.
In the meantime, a wise person that I love with all my heart told me that the best revenge against she who can't be mentioned is to live well.
I think he's pretty smart.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
$5.59
So I went ahead and opened my blog back up for the masses, as you can see. There really isn't any need to keep it private any longer.
For those who have seen some cryptic remarks on my Facebook account, a little explanation may be in order. For those who don't care... well, you probably still won't care.
A few years ago, my family was one of the early victims of their own choices that led to the loss of their home. A lack of fore site, combined with a dwindling economy, combined with a primary income tied to the luxury car business led to the perfect storm. It was the single most difficult thing I have personally ever had to deal with, outside of losing Daniel. Add to that the guilt that I had no one to blame but myself. I am a bookkeeper, for heaven's sake! How does this happen??
When we left our beautiful home, my heart was broken and I was scared, but we had some sweet friends from church who had a tiny little house that they were renting for frankly not much less that we were paying for our 2000 plus square foot home, but the utilities were less and we weren't starting out 3 months behind so we swallowed our pride and sold as much as we could and "downsized", which kind of goes against the whole heart of America but there it is. After a year of this situation, they were ready to sell their little house and we were looking for somewhere a little more permanent.
A certain family member stepped up and said that they were ready to downsize, because the house and pool were getting to be more upkeep than they were really able to maintain; and because they really loved the house where they had done a number of renovations, they wanted us to consider relocating to Atoka.
I told myself that my history with this difficult relationship would not be an issue. I told the plethora of people who said I was CRAZY, that it would be different this time. I was blinded by my fear of facing the financial world again, by my desire to give everything to my kids, and by the love that I quickly developed for this pile of bricks and the town that it sits in. I envisioned my teens having their friends HERE instead of somewhere else. I envisioned my house being full of the kids I would never have. I envisioned my grandchildren having Thanksgiving at the table in my kitchen and having them stay with me for weeks in the summer when they were old enough to take over that silly pond in the backyard.
I have worked hard here. I have painted and upgraded; put in a new privacy fence, and landscaped. This year in particular, I was dedicated to making that yard a garden of Eden for my "kids"... I am working these days and not really in a position to enjoy it myself; but I would someday.
Then I woke up.
A disagreement. An opinion I dared to have. A few heated emails later, and then a registered letter - addressed and written as if I was a complete stranger - and it is over. I have been evicted from my dream, and there really is no turning back. I have lost another house that I poured my future into. How does that happen? I have no idea. Frankly, I am still in shock and denial, although the boxes in the kitchen that is no longer mine are kinda pointing out the obvious. We have somewhere to go - thank goodness. It seems that God knows what is down the path, even as we are blessedly unaware. I am humbly reminded of that yet again.
I feel like I have been sold for the price of a registered letter.
That is all that I was really worth to this person, who is now a stranger to me.
PS... does anyone have a truck I can borrow?
For those who have seen some cryptic remarks on my Facebook account, a little explanation may be in order. For those who don't care... well, you probably still won't care.
A few years ago, my family was one of the early victims of their own choices that led to the loss of their home. A lack of fore site, combined with a dwindling economy, combined with a primary income tied to the luxury car business led to the perfect storm. It was the single most difficult thing I have personally ever had to deal with, outside of losing Daniel. Add to that the guilt that I had no one to blame but myself. I am a bookkeeper, for heaven's sake! How does this happen??
When we left our beautiful home, my heart was broken and I was scared, but we had some sweet friends from church who had a tiny little house that they were renting for frankly not much less that we were paying for our 2000 plus square foot home, but the utilities were less and we weren't starting out 3 months behind so we swallowed our pride and sold as much as we could and "downsized", which kind of goes against the whole heart of America but there it is. After a year of this situation, they were ready to sell their little house and we were looking for somewhere a little more permanent.
A certain family member stepped up and said that they were ready to downsize, because the house and pool were getting to be more upkeep than they were really able to maintain; and because they really loved the house where they had done a number of renovations, they wanted us to consider relocating to Atoka.
I told myself that my history with this difficult relationship would not be an issue. I told the plethora of people who said I was CRAZY, that it would be different this time. I was blinded by my fear of facing the financial world again, by my desire to give everything to my kids, and by the love that I quickly developed for this pile of bricks and the town that it sits in. I envisioned my teens having their friends HERE instead of somewhere else. I envisioned my house being full of the kids I would never have. I envisioned my grandchildren having Thanksgiving at the table in my kitchen and having them stay with me for weeks in the summer when they were old enough to take over that silly pond in the backyard.
I have worked hard here. I have painted and upgraded; put in a new privacy fence, and landscaped. This year in particular, I was dedicated to making that yard a garden of Eden for my "kids"... I am working these days and not really in a position to enjoy it myself; but I would someday.
Then I woke up.
A disagreement. An opinion I dared to have. A few heated emails later, and then a registered letter - addressed and written as if I was a complete stranger - and it is over. I have been evicted from my dream, and there really is no turning back. I have lost another house that I poured my future into. How does that happen? I have no idea. Frankly, I am still in shock and denial, although the boxes in the kitchen that is no longer mine are kinda pointing out the obvious. We have somewhere to go - thank goodness. It seems that God knows what is down the path, even as we are blessedly unaware. I am humbly reminded of that yet again.
I feel like I have been sold for the price of a registered letter.
That is all that I was really worth to this person, who is now a stranger to me.
PS... does anyone have a truck I can borrow?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Update for the chosen few - or couple.
Now that I have taken the time and considerable effort to change my setting so that not just everyone can "follow" me, I guess I should say something.
insert cricket chirping...
A.hem. Oh yeah,
Brian is home for a quick summer visit:) Seems that I only blog when he is home, which isn't much. hmmm. I'll have to consider that. Anyhoo, he has a friend from high school who was graduating college and getting married this past weekend. Talk about a life changing weekend!
Brian has passed the age when all his friends are having serious girlfriends. while he didn't. Now we are at the age where Brian's friends are getting married. while he isn't. Of course, he is just approaching 22 and he still has 3 years before his bachelor's degree because he decided to take his time there, too. So we are not complaining. At least he hasn't made a BAD choice; at least not a PERMANENT one. He will be thrilled that we are discussing this... no wait; he hasn't been "invited" to read! HA!
Bethany, on the other hand has a sweetheart:) awww. I told my niece about him the other day and she looked at me with the biggest blue eyes and said, "reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy????" Mostly because Bethany has been particular. very particular. Just like her momma taught her. I will try to respect her privacy on the subject, but since she hasn't been "invited" either, I can tell you that this momma is very happy with her decision making skills. This newest member of our family has brought a couple of brothers that we have come to love, as well. I always wanted more kids so this has worked out well for me.
We are looking forward to a fun filled, swimmy summer, assuming that I can get that silly pool up and running. This year we are already up to about $1000 and we aren't wet yet. I am pretty sure that we have already had this conversation before.
Same stuff. Different year.
insert cricket chirping...
A.hem. Oh yeah,
Brian is home for a quick summer visit:) Seems that I only blog when he is home, which isn't much. hmmm. I'll have to consider that. Anyhoo, he has a friend from high school who was graduating college and getting married this past weekend. Talk about a life changing weekend!
Brian has passed the age when all his friends are having serious girlfriends. while he didn't. Now we are at the age where Brian's friends are getting married. while he isn't. Of course, he is just approaching 22 and he still has 3 years before his bachelor's degree because he decided to take his time there, too. So we are not complaining. At least he hasn't made a BAD choice; at least not a PERMANENT one. He will be thrilled that we are discussing this... no wait; he hasn't been "invited" to read! HA!
Bethany, on the other hand has a sweetheart:) awww. I told my niece about him the other day and she looked at me with the biggest blue eyes and said, "reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy????" Mostly because Bethany has been particular. very particular. Just like her momma taught her. I will try to respect her privacy on the subject, but since she hasn't been "invited" either, I can tell you that this momma is very happy with her decision making skills. This newest member of our family has brought a couple of brothers that we have come to love, as well. I always wanted more kids so this has worked out well for me.
We are looking forward to a fun filled, swimmy summer, assuming that I can get that silly pool up and running. This year we are already up to about $1000 and we aren't wet yet. I am pretty sure that we have already had this conversation before.
Same stuff. Different year.
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